3-Minute Unexpected Feedback Response

Time needed: 3 minutes (60-60-90 seconds)

Setting: After receiving surprising feedback

Purpose: Creating thoughtful response space between trigger and reaction

Initial Stabilization (60 seconds)

What: Create immediate grounding:

- Take physical step back if possible

- Place feet firmly on floor

- Take three slow breaths

- Notice physical reactions (racing heart, tension)

- Say internally "This is feedback, not threat"

Notice: Immediate body response, emotional reaction intensity, urge to defend/dismiss

Why: Interrupts automatic reaction, engages prefrontal cortex, creates response space

Curious Exploration (60 seconds)

What: Open to learning potential:

- Ask yourself "What might be useful here?"

- Separate observation from interpretation

- Look for grain of truth, however small

- Notice defensive thoughts without acting on them

- Get curious about feedback giver's perspective

Notice: Where you can receive vs. where you resist, what feels threatening, what might be valuable

Why: Reduces defensive posture, enables learning mindset, separates feedback from identity

Thoughtful Response Formation (90 seconds)

What: Create measured approach:

- Take another centering breath

- Choose one aspect to acknowledge

- Prepare question for clarification if needed

- Identify appropriate boundary if necessary

- Decide what's needed now vs. later reflection

Notice: What response serves your growth, where authentic response differs from reaction, how to maintain dignity

Why: Enables measured engagement, maintains relationship, creates learning opportunity